And thank you for sharing a bit from my piece on here. I'm glad it resonated.
Cindy--what an important inquiry. the language we use matters so much, and stay-at-home is literally confining us with language. What about "I'm a mother" said with groundedness and power? Do we need the professional piece there, or can we just reclaim the value of the word in the saying it powerfully?
I was talking with a friend about a similarly-absent term for women who choose not to become mothers. All the language that exists is about them lacking in some way (kidfree, childless)--it all defines them for what they're not, not what they are. Definitely another one that needs an apt word, though I'm probably not the one to create that one!
Fixed your name. So sorry about that! Yes, I think we need to do away with "working mother" and "mom guilt" and then there are words we don't yet have that we need to claim. Why is claiming "I'm a mother" inherently lacking? Only due to misogyny. We all know that being a mother is not only a job, and a role, and an identity but also a lot! Sometimes I think the conflict we feel with the term mother is that we know it could subsume all other identities if we let it. Lately I've been thinking about how becoming a wife and mother sometimes makes us feel smaller, diminishes us buried by responsibilities, while becoming a husband and father allows men to become bigger. Anyway, lots to think about here. Thanks for sharing.
I'm not a mother (yet, perhaps) but I feel like I'm preparing myself for the economic, physical, and mental hurdles of motherhood when reading your newsletter. Very thought provoking content!
And thank you for sharing a bit from my piece on here. I'm glad it resonated.
Cindy--what an important inquiry. the language we use matters so much, and stay-at-home is literally confining us with language. What about "I'm a mother" said with groundedness and power? Do we need the professional piece there, or can we just reclaim the value of the word in the saying it powerfully?
I was talking with a friend about a similarly-absent term for women who choose not to become mothers. All the language that exists is about them lacking in some way (kidfree, childless)--it all defines them for what they're not, not what they are. Definitely another one that needs an apt word, though I'm probably not the one to create that one!
Fixed your name. So sorry about that! Yes, I think we need to do away with "working mother" and "mom guilt" and then there are words we don't yet have that we need to claim. Why is claiming "I'm a mother" inherently lacking? Only due to misogyny. We all know that being a mother is not only a job, and a role, and an identity but also a lot! Sometimes I think the conflict we feel with the term mother is that we know it could subsume all other identities if we let it. Lately I've been thinking about how becoming a wife and mother sometimes makes us feel smaller, diminishes us buried by responsibilities, while becoming a husband and father allows men to become bigger. Anyway, lots to think about here. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for fixing it so quickly!
And yes it’s so hard to own “I’m a mother” powerfully *and* not let it bury all our other identities.
I wonder if, when we day “I’m a writer,” it doesn’t carry the same charge because no one assumes that writing is all consuming?
I'm not a mother (yet, perhaps) but I feel like I'm preparing myself for the economic, physical, and mental hurdles of motherhood when reading your newsletter. Very thought provoking content!