Taking Stock and Letting Go
2024 was... a lot
It’s the final day of 2024 and I am so ready to leave this year behind me. 2025 will mark my first full year as a single woman, no longer mired in the trenches of divorce. I feel new energy moving and can’t wait to see what 2025 has in store. In the meantime, a recap of what 2024 brought me, both in my personal life and in this space.
JANUARY
I started 2024 with a reflection on Wifedom, stemming from Anna Funder’s brilliant book of the same name.
- published their 20th anniversary anthology, which included an essay of mine, the very first time I saw my own writing in print.
I launched The Divorce Diaries, a series for paying subscribers, in which I interview women about their divorces anonymously. There are now seven entries in the series (you can read them all here) with more to come in 2025. If you’d like to share your own story for The Divorce Diaries, click here!
FEBRUARY
I attended AWP in Kansas City where I got to see, meet, network with so many great writers including
, , , , , , , and many more. I’ll be attending AWP in LA at the end of March. Let me know if you’ll be in attendance!
I wrote the post that continues to be my most shared and discussed, amassing more than 60k views and 1400 likes, on how my Fair Play discussion signaled the end of my marriage.
I also interviewed creator of Fair Play, Eve Rodsky, on how you can Fair Play your divorce, in other words, ensure your unpaid labor is factored in to your divorce settlement.
I attended my second mediation session at the end of February.
text from my oldest daughter on my 44th birthday
MARCH
I was the inaugural guest for the
Book Club.I became a Substack bestseller!
I went on my very first date, post divorce (and wrote about it). And no, I haven’t gone on a date since. I hope that 2025 brings some romance into my life, but if you are familiar with IFS (which I wrote about here), I clearly have a protector part who isn’t quite ready for me to get out there.
Mediation session #3, after which I pulled out of mediation, and entered what I called Divorce Purgatory.
APRIL
I leased a car for the very first time, and the subsequent feeling of accomplishment and capability led to the post above.
MAY
My book proposal went out to an initial group of editors.
I read All Fours by
and became an evangelist for it. (Read my thoughts here).I itemized what we sacrifice financially as mothers in The Math of Motherhood: The Motherhood Penalty.
JUNE
Attended a settlement conference for my divorce (just us and our lawyers, no mediator). Came to tentative terms.
Read The Mother of All Things by Alexis Landeau which led to this reflection on the difference between care and codependency.
JULY
Read Liars by Sarah Manguso, a book so painful and honest, I asked: Is This the End of Marriage?
AUGUST
Still in the thick of finalizing my divorce, I wonder whether a postnuptial agreement could have saved me a lot of trouble (and legal fees). I’m partnering with The Fair Play Policy Institute and lawyer Aaron Thomas to bring you a guide to post-nups and pre-nups in the new year!
SEPTEMBER
I launched a new series for paying subscribers called Things I Wish I’d Known Before Going through a Divorce.
OCTOBER
I signed my divorce papers.
NOVEMBER
My divorce was finalized on November 6, 2024. I wrote about becoming an Official Ex-Wife.
DECEMBER
Because my Fair Play post continued to generate so much conversation, I wrote a follow up about what’s truly behind the invisible labor breaking point.
In the new year, I have some new directions, content I’ve held back from this space but feel ready to give it air, starting with a juicy one next week (which comes with a corresponding podcast interview!). Thank you for reading, sharing, and joining the conversation. I’m doing a quick 20% off sale to kick off the new year for paid subscriptions. Paying subscribers receive access to The Mother Lode chat, the ability to comment on all posts, and access to posts like The Divorce Diaries, Things I Wished I’d Known Before Going Through a Divorce, and Behind the Scenes. Also look out for my own divorce diary sometime in the new year.
Thanks as always for joining me. Wishing you a new year filled with growth, authenticity, and the bravery to realize its never too late to start over.
xo, Cindy