Thank you for your honesty. I feel immense relief as I read this. I have two children and it has been a major struggle for me. They are now 6 and 4 and I FINALLY feel like I’m getting back to “myself” again now that they are old enough to go to school 5 days a week. My husband wants more kids and the thought of heading back into the pregnancy/baby/toddler days again just turns me off completely. Perhaps the most frustrating aspect of it all is that when I express these sentiments to my husband, he reacts like I’m evil or I hate my own children or children in general which couldn’t be farther from the truth. I’m just a sensitive soul and the baby/toddler years took a lot out of me. I realize this isn’t the case of all women. Some love the baby years. But I hope we can all normalize this conversation topic for the sake of those of us who don’t relish early motherhood.
I feel so relieved reading this! I often feel like mothering takes more out of me than many other women - or that they enjoy it more - and I'm getting to the place of being okay with that. Whether it's true or not! I have two close in age as well, the youngest being 6 months, and they're not even that "hard" of children but I'm still so tired! The line about it being hard to be a writer and have two kids felt very validating. It's a temperament thing - I didn't pick my temperament - but I want / need to be able to live my life in a way that feels like I'm not constantly drowning for years on end. Please.
I've written a bit about this topic too (e.g. https://christinegreenwald.substack.com/p/please-stop-telling-moms-to-cherish) and plan to do a bit more soon, but this post is inspiring me to be more honest about my own personal experience - because other moms need to hear we're not alone if we feel like this!
Thanks for sharing this. I relate so much. Motherhood is so tough, but adding a second child to the first is a whole other level. I actually wrote a blog post about this after I had logan- https://amomlikeme.com/2011/03/16/out-of-the-darkness/
I had so many women reach out to
Me after reading it, saying that they felt the same way. I think it’s a very common thread that isn’t discussed nearly enough.
This is so on point. I went through IVF to conceive my first and then quickly tried for my second (via IVF) when my first was only one year old. I felt rushed because of how hard it was for me to get pregnant. My son was born when my daughter was two. Now they’re 8 and 6 and I feel like I finally have some independence. Those first couple years with both of them together are a blur and I had horrible PPD. Two kids is no joke, I thought it would be the end of me. Somehow I’m still here.
Wow this is sooooo deeply resonant... even though there is a bigger gap of 3 years between my two, I still feel so much of what you write. Thank you for sharing. The ‘enduring’ piece really does sum up so much of what I feel in this current season... which is why my writing is so life giving for me as it takes me to a different space and makes me feel alive again. Xx
Thank you for your honesty. I feel immense relief as I read this. I have two children and it has been a major struggle for me. They are now 6 and 4 and I FINALLY feel like I’m getting back to “myself” again now that they are old enough to go to school 5 days a week. My husband wants more kids and the thought of heading back into the pregnancy/baby/toddler days again just turns me off completely. Perhaps the most frustrating aspect of it all is that when I express these sentiments to my husband, he reacts like I’m evil or I hate my own children or children in general which couldn’t be farther from the truth. I’m just a sensitive soul and the baby/toddler years took a lot out of me. I realize this isn’t the case of all women. Some love the baby years. But I hope we can all normalize this conversation topic for the sake of those of us who don’t relish early motherhood.
I feel so relieved reading this! I often feel like mothering takes more out of me than many other women - or that they enjoy it more - and I'm getting to the place of being okay with that. Whether it's true or not! I have two close in age as well, the youngest being 6 months, and they're not even that "hard" of children but I'm still so tired! The line about it being hard to be a writer and have two kids felt very validating. It's a temperament thing - I didn't pick my temperament - but I want / need to be able to live my life in a way that feels like I'm not constantly drowning for years on end. Please.
I've written a bit about this topic too (e.g. https://christinegreenwald.substack.com/p/please-stop-telling-moms-to-cherish) and plan to do a bit more soon, but this post is inspiring me to be more honest about my own personal experience - because other moms need to hear we're not alone if we feel like this!
Thanks for your writing!
Thanks for sharing this. I relate so much. Motherhood is so tough, but adding a second child to the first is a whole other level. I actually wrote a blog post about this after I had logan- https://amomlikeme.com/2011/03/16/out-of-the-darkness/
I had so many women reach out to
Me after reading it, saying that they felt the same way. I think it’s a very common thread that isn’t discussed nearly enough.
This is so on point. I went through IVF to conceive my first and then quickly tried for my second (via IVF) when my first was only one year old. I felt rushed because of how hard it was for me to get pregnant. My son was born when my daughter was two. Now they’re 8 and 6 and I feel like I finally have some independence. Those first couple years with both of them together are a blur and I had horrible PPD. Two kids is no joke, I thought it would be the end of me. Somehow I’m still here.
Wow this is sooooo deeply resonant... even though there is a bigger gap of 3 years between my two, I still feel so much of what you write. Thank you for sharing. The ‘enduring’ piece really does sum up so much of what I feel in this current season... which is why my writing is so life giving for me as it takes me to a different space and makes me feel alive again. Xx