Thanks for this. There are so many insights and good lines here, like this one: "I feel like I can mother more completely without the extra burden of having to mother him. I have more of myself available to my children because I am no longer having to feed and nurture that relationship as well."
My parents were in an unhappy marriage my entire childhood and when people say to me that divorce is hard on kids I always let them know that growing up with a hostile relationship between your parents is probably worse. And when you leave that house, all that's been modeled for you is not what will help you in life. Glad you had the courage to get yourself free.
Every word of this. Every word. I'm coming up on the fourth anniversary of my divorce, and my life is so much better in every single way that I still cannot believe it is mine. I'm so glad you're having this experience, and I'm so glad you wrote about it.
Thank you for this. 25 years ago I left my husband because I was deeply unhappy in our marriage. I know that I was behaving badly at the time, and it caused a lot of grief and worry for my parents, which I regret now and I wish they were still here so that I could thank them. I had a very full on job, and my children were very small, three under 8, so it was hard for all of us. But my children would all now say that they learnt valuable lessons about self-determination and confidence, and that over time, particularly after I found a new, loving and supportive partner, that they understand what I did and why. I'm pleased to say that they all seem much better at making and managing relationships than I was at their age, they are honest and caring. And although being a single working mum for a couple of years was tough, we also had some great times together, and like you, I really enjoyed feeling that when I was with them alone I could be completely myself, not negotiating with a third party, but happy and relaxed, doing it completely my own way, my rules. I used to wonder if I had been selfish and just done something that only worked for me. But in the end you can only do your best and be as honest as possible. Share your feelings with your kids, but try not to disrespect their father. I hope this helps.
I feel exactly the same, four years on from my separation. Thank you for writing about this.
Yes to all of this!!
Thank yoU!
Thanks for this. There are so many insights and good lines here, like this one: "I feel like I can mother more completely without the extra burden of having to mother him. I have more of myself available to my children because I am no longer having to feed and nurture that relationship as well."
My parents were in an unhappy marriage my entire childhood and when people say to me that divorce is hard on kids I always let them know that growing up with a hostile relationship between your parents is probably worse. And when you leave that house, all that's been modeled for you is not what will help you in life. Glad you had the courage to get yourself free.
Thank you. And for sharing your experience.
Every word of this. Every word. I'm coming up on the fourth anniversary of my divorce, and my life is so much better in every single way that I still cannot believe it is mine. I'm so glad you're having this experience, and I'm so glad you wrote about it.
Congrats to you too! Yes it is a surreal experience when divorce is so often pitched as The Very Worst Thing.
Thank you for this. 25 years ago I left my husband because I was deeply unhappy in our marriage. I know that I was behaving badly at the time, and it caused a lot of grief and worry for my parents, which I regret now and I wish they were still here so that I could thank them. I had a very full on job, and my children were very small, three under 8, so it was hard for all of us. But my children would all now say that they learnt valuable lessons about self-determination and confidence, and that over time, particularly after I found a new, loving and supportive partner, that they understand what I did and why. I'm pleased to say that they all seem much better at making and managing relationships than I was at their age, they are honest and caring. And although being a single working mum for a couple of years was tough, we also had some great times together, and like you, I really enjoyed feeling that when I was with them alone I could be completely myself, not negotiating with a third party, but happy and relaxed, doing it completely my own way, my rules. I used to wonder if I had been selfish and just done something that only worked for me. But in the end you can only do your best and be as honest as possible. Share your feelings with your kids, but try not to disrespect their father. I hope this helps.
Thank you. It does. :)