I literally logged off my session with my therapist about doing this very thing, then opened my inbox to this. It has to be a sign that I’m making the right decision to go. I needed this so much and I thank you immensely for publishing it. ❤️
Cindy, wow - what powerful, truth-filled, helpful words these are. I am honored that "The Most Important Thing" has been part of you claiming what is true & right for you. Here's to continuing to make that shelter of kindness inside ourselves. xo Julia
"I did not know how to access what I wanted. My desires and wants were buried so deep after forty years of being a woman that I could not access them." I gasped. This and the next in the series will be air in my lungs. Thank you.
Love everything about this post. 🙌 I found the thing that helped me get back to myself, along with writing, was getting away to a writing residency where for seven days, I had a room of my own. So vital for my truth to come out in a space where I was no longer mother or wife. I was very lucky that way.
It took me so long to make this decision. The breaking point was finding out my husband had continued an affair for years after saying it was over, then lying for an additional 3 years in marriage therapy. I wasted over 25 years of my life with this person.
The lying in marriage therapy is sadly as situation I faced as well, something that still leaves my blood boiling. The sad thing about being partnered with people who lie is we don't have all the information to make informed decisions so yes, get trapped longer than necessary. I'm so sorry this was your experience.
Thank you. This has been so much to take. We were together for over 25 years. There were red flags of course and I ignored them because "marriage is hard". I was raised very Catholic and I think that was a factor as well as seeing my mother in a terrible marriage my whole childhood. Hopefully things will be different for our kids.
I am in the middle of a divorce, and I have a question that has been tugging at me for months now. I have been through the process of leaving. How does one continue through the process when they still feel an obligation to protect their soon-to-be-former husband for the sake of keeping the peace or out of fear of retaliation? Hopefully, this makes sense.
Anne, this tension is real. I was amazed by how much conciliation I still had to do to my ex throughout the process of divorce. Unless you are just willing to go to court and face a judge, there is still a dance required of pleasing and appeasing which can be particularly triggering when you had hoped to be free of that. I'm not sure what the solution is.
I literally logged off my session with my therapist about doing this very thing, then opened my inbox to this. It has to be a sign that I’m making the right decision to go. I needed this so much and I thank you immensely for publishing it. ❤️
Oh my gosh, the universe showing you you are on the right path. Hang in there. The going is tough but worth it.
Thank you so much🙏 I know it will be hard but I am ready to live freely and peacefully.
Cindy, wow - what powerful, truth-filled, helpful words these are. I am honored that "The Most Important Thing" has been part of you claiming what is true & right for you. Here's to continuing to make that shelter of kindness inside ourselves. xo Julia
"I did not know how to access what I wanted. My desires and wants were buried so deep after forty years of being a woman that I could not access them." I gasped. This and the next in the series will be air in my lungs. Thank you.
Thank you. I know it is essential information.
Love everything about this post. 🙌 I found the thing that helped me get back to myself, along with writing, was getting away to a writing residency where for seven days, I had a room of my own. So vital for my truth to come out in a space where I was no longer mother or wife. I was very lucky that way.
Yes! So often we need space for the situation to be able to see things clearly! I'm so glad a writing residency was able to give you that.
It took me so long to make this decision. The breaking point was finding out my husband had continued an affair for years after saying it was over, then lying for an additional 3 years in marriage therapy. I wasted over 25 years of my life with this person.
The lying in marriage therapy is sadly as situation I faced as well, something that still leaves my blood boiling. The sad thing about being partnered with people who lie is we don't have all the information to make informed decisions so yes, get trapped longer than necessary. I'm so sorry this was your experience.
Thank you. This has been so much to take. We were together for over 25 years. There were red flags of course and I ignored them because "marriage is hard". I was raised very Catholic and I think that was a factor as well as seeing my mother in a terrible marriage my whole childhood. Hopefully things will be different for our kids.
Thank you for linking to STAY OR LEAVE. We’re def gonna do another class. And thank you for continuing to write about this. A lighthouse, you. 🫀
I just love that you were offering it and think it is so key. I could have used something like that, for sure.
🥹❤️
I am in the middle of a divorce, and I have a question that has been tugging at me for months now. I have been through the process of leaving. How does one continue through the process when they still feel an obligation to protect their soon-to-be-former husband for the sake of keeping the peace or out of fear of retaliation? Hopefully, this makes sense.
It occurred to me that the leaving was to save my own life. Keeping the peace after leaving saves my child from very public trauma.
Anne, this tension is real. I was amazed by how much conciliation I still had to do to my ex throughout the process of divorce. Unless you are just willing to go to court and face a judge, there is still a dance required of pleasing and appeasing which can be particularly triggering when you had hoped to be free of that. I'm not sure what the solution is.