Extra Credit

Bonus content for paid subscribers

One of the benefits of being a paid subscriber is behind the scenes access to my work, and additional musings on previous posts (and foreshadowing of future ones). Below, find more thoughts on desire that have arisen since my last post, an excerpt from my work-in-progress, and what I’m currently reading and ruminating on.

estherperelofficial

A post shared by Esther Perel (@estherperelofficial)

Below are two quotes from Esther Perel on her episode of “We Can Do Hard Things”. She is talking about Holocaust survivors, but so much of the language can be applied to new mothers who have to be ever-vigilant to keep their infants alive:

“When you experience pleasure, you’re not vigilant. You’re not on alert, you’re not watching for threat and danger. You have to be able to be unself-conscious and let go.”

“To experience pleasure, you need to experience self-worth, deserving. I deserve to feel good. I deserve to eat something that I enjoy or wear something I enjoy, or to be touched in a way that feels really nice… I deserve. When you think pleasure, you think fluffy fluffy, when in fact, pleasure, joy, being fed, being seen, being cared for, they come on the heels of feeling desirable, loveable, attractive, wanted, deserving...”